Blog Archives

Elevator Pitch – Trinity Heights

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PitchGet this! Three lifelong friends in their thirties decide to get pregnant from the same sperm donor.

What is it? A television comedy-drama. The three “lifelong female friends” (Chelle, Moira, and Tracy) are in their mid-30s and pretty much giving up on getting married. But, they still want children. So, why not, right? It’s 201_! They can raise kids on their own, or with each other’s help, and can use a sperm bank to find fathers.

Then, they have another idea: they all three choose the same donor! After all, the three of them had already worked out all the kinks in their own personality differences, and by narrowing down the genetic influence on their kids’ personalities, it would make it easier to raise their common family. They’d seal their friendship, and the kids would all be half-siblings … a win-win!

Or is it?

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Category: Elevator Pitch

Living History : Four Captives in the 1700s

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Attack_on_Fort_Louisbourg_1745

[Update: This project was discontinued]

During King George’s War (1744-1748), a remarkable literary coincidence happened. Four British captives held together in French Canada kept journals of their captivity that were later published. Three of the journals—those of schooner captain William Pote, the Reverend John Norton, and a man named Nehemiah How—are available free online. The fourth, by a writer who never names himself, I stumbled upon in a used book store in Old Town Alexandria.

Reading the journals in parallel was fascinating, particularly as the writers have individual quirks and vividly distinct personalities that show in their different takes on the same events. For example, Pote is grumpy and sarcastic while How is a pious positive thinker. It’s fun to look into the minds of these real people from hundreds of years ago.

So, as a sort of “living history” project, I decided to publish all four journal entries side-by-side in real time, 270 years after the events they chronicle. There are nearly a year of  entries up now, and so far three of the captives (Pote, How, and the Unknown) have started writing. Norton’s journal will start in August.

If you’re a fan of early modern history or colonial North America, or you just like a good tale, start at the beginning with the capture of Captain Pote. Or, check out these neat tidbits:

  • Getting beaten by scalps taken from other British prisoners.
  • Being nicknamed “toy” as a form of humiliation.
  • Christmas bringing out differences in personalities.
Category: About Me, News

Writing Advice: The Many Faces of the “Rule of Three”

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jnl-redhatWith Valentine’s Day close approaching, most of you are thinking of two: yourself and that special someone.

But, Golden Girls fans might be thinking of three, due to one of the most quotable quotes of the series, from an episode called “Valentine’s Day.”

CondomsIn a pharmacy, the three youngest Girls are preparing for a romantic weekend with three men. Blanche hints that they should take “protection” with them. After Rose guesses incorrectly what Blanche means (three times!) Dorothy blurts out:

Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms!

That thrice repeated emphasis is an example of what the Romans called omne trium perfectum, meaning “every three is perfect.” We see this pattern both in literature and the visual arts. In photography and painting, it is often called the Rule of Thirds. You can actually see this in the Golden Girls gif at right, wherein Dorothy is the middle third of the image.

In writing, it is called the Rule of Three. But, although all threes may be perfect, not all threes are the same. For the benefit of my readers who are also writers, I want to discuss the various forms of the Rule of Three and, in honor of season three of Black Sails, I’ll include a few examples from that popular and well-written series.

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Odd Thought on Fowl Consonants

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RhoticerieChicken

Category: Odd Thoughts

Let’s Name That New Planet Libera

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mytwocentsThere’s been a lot of buzz lately about the possibility of another giant planet on the outskirts of our solar system, one that could both explain the orbits of several odd trans-Neptunian objects and provide the hypothetical fifth giant planet necessary for certain theories about the current orbits of the known planets.

I might also note that, with a proposed perihelion of 200 AU (~30 teras) and aphelion of 1200 AU (~180 teras), this new planet is significantly further away than the Voyager I spacecraft at ~134 AU (20 teras) and therefore the bombast a few years ago about Voyager I “leaving the solar system” was utter tripe.

I’m convinced of the likelihood of this new giant planet (its explanatory power is strong) and propose we name it Libera, after the Roman goddess of freedom who shared a temple on Aventine Hill with Ceres (and her own male counterpart, Liber) ~500 BCE.

Previously, I have suggested renaming our third giant planet Minerva, to finally liberate it from an obnoxious name that both violates the Roman standard of planet naming and forces us to utter a homophone obscenity. Since our newest planet may have been freed from the inner solar system through interaction with a “Jumping Jupiter,” a Liberating name is appropriate for it as well.

 

Category: Fiction, My Two Cents

Elevator Pitch – RATLINE

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PitchGet this: In the final days of World War II, a German Catholic priest uncovers a plan by Bishop Hudal to exploit the Church’s emergency immigration program to sneak Nazis to South America through Spain, and he defects to the Allies to help put an end to the plot.

What is it? A historical spy drama based on conspiracy theories that major fascist figures—including Adolf Hitler—escaped the crumbling Third Reich via the real-world “rat lines” through which thousands of Nazis fled to Argentina.

A special five-member team is organized by the Allies to hunt them down, led by an Anglo-Jewish SBS veteran known as Mr. Spade and consisting of former priest Josua Herz, Spanish Maqui (resistance fighter) Rafaela Basto, Black American pilot Samuel “Diamond Sam” Washington, and Argentine Mapuche actor Eduardo Llancaleo.

ElevatorPitch-RATLINE

Pitch: Nazis are a secure draw for audiences and, as the Amazon series The Man in the High Castle shows, “what if” dramas based on World War 2 multiply that draw.

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Category: Elevator Pitch

If Literature Were Furniture

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jnl-faceO genre, you contentious and poorly understood topic!

From the silly notion that “literary” fiction can’t have sex in it to the facepalm-worthy idea that novels written on cellphones constitute a new genre, we suffer a lot of bizarre delusions when it comes to the distinction between genre and quality.

Some privileged smugsters would like us to believe that literary-quality writing must have a realistic—preferably modern—setting, convey some sort of political message, and rely on the Gadsby-esque stunt of obsessively avoiding common phrases. In other words, the sort of thing that people might write who have (a) relatively little creativity, (b) lots of free time due to not needing a day job, and (c) a desire to smuggle their activist propaganda into your brain under the guise of storytelling.

Even the Hugo Awards—which one might assume would be free of this dust-up since they’re granted for science fiction—fell prey to the conflict, with the Establishment pushing a message fic propaganda paradigm and the Puppy outsiders claiming that the only thing that matters is a popular, rip-roaring story. This Puppy-like standard of quality is also quite common in the rising tsunami of self-publishing authors, for whom sales are the ultimate measure of worth.

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One Question Personality Test III

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PersonalityTest-UptownFunk

Category: Odd Thoughts

A Christmas Quarrel

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Four Friends Discuss Holidays

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Holidays

Category: Odd Thoughts | Tags: , , ,