In fantasy role-playing games like Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, bards are notorious for being soft in combat. They can fluff the fighters, but otherwise function as second-rate thieves and third-rate mages.

However, Melville House reports on a Brit who has turned not a bard, but The Bard, into a weapon of mass destruction.

Apparently, Edd Joseph bought a PlayStation 3 online, but it never arrived. In retaliation, he cut-and-pasted the collected works of William Shakespeare to the scam artist’s cell phone, as text messages. Broken up into 160 characters at a time, that adds up to nearly 30 thousand texts.

Check out the full story at Melville House for a good literary chuckle.