“The word ‘pollen’ makes me think of Spanish chickens gathering in Germany.” – Language Nerd Problems
The DC Metro’s Silver Line to Dulles is nearly up and running—fingers crossed!—so maybe it’s time to address an egregious issue. Yes, I’m talking about Washington National Airport.
Ever since 9/11, the very existence of a major airport within a stone’s throw of the White House and Capitol has been a security nightmare and a homeland security absurdity. And, the constant cycle of aircraft taking off and landing so near the monuments and museums on the National Mall is an eye-sore and and ear-sore. With Dulles connected to the Metro and Baltimore-Washington International connected to MARC and Amtrak, it’s time to retire Washington National Airport. It’s small, it’s dangerous, it’s redundant, and it’s ugly.
However, although DCA is tiny compared to IAD and BWI, the site is still rather large, being an airport. The immediate question becomes what we can do with all that open land. I have a great idea: let’s relocate the National Zoo from its cramped and rugged terrain on Rock Creek.
The third time’s a charm … but the fourth quark.
The July-August issue of Discover tackles the current, confusing naming convention for planets outside our solar system. They go through the pros and cons of several possible plans for the future, including the existing scientific designations, various mythologies, a taxonomical method, and a sort of popularity contest model where the public votes on names. You can see a little taste of the article online but you need a subscription (or a paper copy) to read the entire piece.
However, after review, I have to say that none of the plans outlined in Discover is as simple, comprehensive, or sustainable as my “Proposal for the Naming and Reference of Extrasolar Planets.” They all like a familiar, intuitive means of specifying planets, and those that have layman-friendly names run the risk of being unsustainable. Take a look at my plan and let me know what you think.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
– Mark Twain, Notebook, 1904
When I first heard of Amazon’s “bullying” tactics against Hachette, I was shouting angrily right along with the herd … I mean crowd.
Actually, no. I mean herd.
Taking Twain’s advice, I looked a little deeper into my knee-jerk alignment with the majority. You don’t have to look deeper, now, because the tawdry timeline has been laid out in the letter Amazon sent to writers and lit agents a few days back. Skip to the bottom to read the full letter; I’ve put the timeline in bold.
The allegations there include Hachette stumbling their way past the expiration of their contract with Amazon, ignoring attempts by Amazon to behave like a responsible and professional partner by dealing with that expiration before it happened, taking months to respond to business correspondence from Amazon, failing to keep their word on providing a timely counteroffer, and failure to diligently and promptly represent the best interests of their authors and customers.
As I pointed out earlier, Hachette’s response really doesn’t do much to refute the allegations. In one particularly bizarre response, Hachette characterized Amazon not honoring the contract Hachette allowed to expire as imposing “sanctions” on Hachette books. Do they understand how business works?
Is Amazon’s economic scale a problem? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. But that doesn’t mean the entitled oafishness of publishers like Hachette should simply be ignored. The cultural malaise of traditional publishers is far more problematic for authors and readers than the sheer immensity of Amazon. And, the absurdity only gets worse… Continue reading
The carnival employee was thrilled to finally get to work the merry-go-round.
Unfortunately, it was a rotational assignment.
Something odd occurred to me this morning concerning the concept of grammatical number.
Languages have singular forms and plural forms: dog vs. dogs. Some languages have collective words from which the singular (here called “singulative”) can be derived: Arabic baqar “cattle” vs. baqarah “cow.” Some languages even have dual and trial forms for specifically two or three things. And, some languages have a “paucal” form to distinguish a few of something from many.
But what about zero things? Continue reading
Awful sitcom pitch:
A struggling young comic has to move back in with his non-nonsense dad, who runs a lumber yard. Working title: “Building Material”
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By the way, this would be a fantastic (as in fantastically bad) pitch to include in the film Baltimore, MD.
Sometimes, the underdog is the bad guy. I know, I know this is anathema to American sentiments. But sometimes, every now and then, the little guy is the greater of two evils who deserves what the Big Bad Tough dishes out.
So, let’s talk about Hachette v. Amazon.
It seems these days like Amazon is the tall poppy everyone is eager to take a whack at. And, I’m no fan of the near-monopoly power enjoyed by giants like Amazon, Walmart, Google, etc. in a what should be a merit-rewarding, competitive market economy. Amazon’s god-like reach is indisputably problematic.
But, there’s something to be said about the indispensable power of sheer power to sweep out poor practices.
Consider the latest uproar over Amazon’s offer—widely dismissed as a PR stunt—to give Hachette authors 100 percent of ebook sales until the current pricing dispute is settled. Actually, don’t consider the uproar or the offer. Consider instead the allegations of bumbling and stalling that Amazon has levied against Hachette, and Hachette’s ironically confessional reaction to them. Continue reading
